Tomate Salade

I don’t know where my life is going right now. And I don’t know what’s happening with this. I’m uncertain about what I’m going to do after high school. You may not know this but, I think I want to be a doctor. I don’t really know if that’s going to happen, it would be nice to see into the future.

I need to get off now. There are assignments waiting to be finished. I think I’ll make some coffee because a nap will only make me even more tired. Sorry for being such a downer, I can be pleasant sometimes too.

Good night.

Hey bizatchnessess. I think I’m buzzing. I’ve had about 8 cocktails. I’m going to regret that in the morning. I thought about texting you a few times but then I thought against it. That was probably the best thing. Okay I’m gonna go before I type something stupid. Please forgive me.

Goodnight.

I don’t even know why I do this. Oh wait, yeah I do. I do it because I suck at keeping a diary…so this is like my public diary. How odd. Well I’m sitting in a green chair in my nephews green room. By the door. And talking to 2 friends on Yahoo messenger while listening to “The Killers Radio” on Pandora. Mmhmm. Went to the movies today and then went back to my cousins house. After the movies, everything was incredibly boring. My 3 year old nephew is very cute. The cutest 3 year old I know. As I was watching the movie, I started thinking and I kinda felt like I was going to die or something but not in a depressed way. I just felt like that because I realized that I didn’t know where my life was going. I mean, I know I want to go to college and become a psychologist or maybe even a psychiatrist but as of right now I’m confused. I don’t know what’s going to happen with my family as well. With the problems and stuff. I’ll leave that to God. Anyways, I really need to “get back on track”.

I hope your Thanksgiving was well.

Pretty alright. Lots of pie. And food. Had an awkward convo haha. Oh yeah, I did some community service too. Served drinks for like 3 hours. My arms hurt. Not going shopping on Black Friday I think. Going to movies instead. That’s pretty cool too. I like spending time with my family. Overall, today was nice and relaxing. Saw friends and family and played Wii Tennis like I was playing real tennis haha.

Good night/morning Sir/Madam.

I post my “nightly” posts in the early morning, mostly, but I call them nightly because I haven’t slept yet. So yeah, I think that makes sense. I’ve read a few sections of my history book, but not enough. I looked at some pictures of me when I was a small child; I was a silly child. And now I’m a silly adolescent. I wish there was an explanation for all these weird emotions. Like a manual or something; that would be very helpful. You see, when I like someone, and I feel disappointed/confused, I turn that disappointment/sadness/uncertainty and confusion into “pretend hate”. That’s when I’m like, “Gahh I hate so-and-so. Screw them. Fuck.” I think I do that because it gives me an emotion to feel and I’m not confused anymore. But deep down I know I still have weird feelings and that I don’t really hate them. I just pretend because it’s easier. I think I’m being redundant. And illogical. Oh well. Man, that would be terrifying if the person I liked found my Tumblr account. They would probably think I’m weird. And a crazy psycho-bitch. I’m not a crazy psycho-bitch. I’ve just never had much experience in the “omg i like someone” department. Please forgive my fickle-mindedness and paranoia. I can be a decent person, really.

Oh it’s Thanksgiving, btw. So…Happy Thanksgiving!

Holy hell. That was the most personal Text Post I’ve ever written. Scary. I’m going to add a question here so that people can respond to this so do not be alarmed.

Good Night/Morning Sir/Madam and I hope you have a lovely Thanksgiving brunch/lunch/dinner.

?

I’m a bit stressed out. And a bit ticked off. Because of school and things. That thing. It’s weird how I was yesterday and then today seemed so well. Should’ve known it wouldn’t have been nice all day long. Oh well, I still feel the same. Just with another weird feeling. Let’s just say I feel Weird.

Played with my dog. Ate something healthy. I need to just sit down and get some work done. It’ll be best for me. Because then I wouldn’t worry about other things. Just work. Pizza flavored Goldfish crackers do taste like pizza :o

I hope we both have pleasant dreams tonight.

I really like pizza.

Like, a lot.

:I

I feel like crying when something “good” happens. It’s weird. Hours of nothing so I shrug it off. “Ah forget you…blah blah blah etc.” And then, there. “Ahh f_ _ _ ing s_ _t man! What the hell?!” Then I feel like crying. Out of confusion, even though I really should be happy. It’s weird, shouldn’t the “crying” come when nothing happens? It’s not real crying btw, it’s more like the ”What the hell? I’m really confused and I don’t know what to do or what emotion to feel so I should just cry” type of “crying”. Basically, it’s just confusion and bliss mixed together thus creating some fucked up emotion. You start dry sobbing saying “oh my gosh what the hell man?” but deep down you’re kinda happy or some shit like that. It’s really weird and confusing. Maybe it’s just me. I don’t make sense.

Holy hell. Someone needs to slap me. I can’t wait until Thanksgiving; I like being with my family. Today was very simple. I was outside of my house for about a minute, and that’s pretty sad. I need to get my priorities straight or else I will be even more screwed than I am although I’m not really sure if that’s possible. Haha, as of right now, there are probably like 3 people that read these things. If they even read these. Probably not, but you never know. Hi joi, rc, and charmie, my only followers. Ha. I’m weird, huh?

Good Night.

Went to Barnes and Noble today. I love that store. Bought a study guide. Weird. Had fun with my mother; she’s funny. Bought a picture frame. And a DVD. And yarn. And another book. Good day. Something on my mind today. It’s really weird, these weird feelings are. I’m in like. More than I was in like with the one before. And the one before that. Weird, huh? Funny how the last one and this one are named the same.

I went to the mall. Instead of roaming around like a normal person, I sat down and read a book. With my earphones in my ears. I feel awkward and insecure in public places sometimes. Kinda sucks, kinda doesn’t. I went to another store today, the one where I got a picture frame, and hugged a stranger. It was awkward. And I overheard some white couple with a kid named Jackson. He had 2 orange water pail things in his hands and the lady was going to buy a $12.99 sweater. I was bored and listening to people while reading my book.

Bonne nuit, mon ami.

Today was not productive at all. I was supposed to do things but…I didn’t.

I was crocheting today. I realized something. I wanted a hug. Real badly. I don’t know why. I have a mission to make a PB&J sandwich. I think I’m gonna make it a sandwich pizza. That will be my breakfast tomorrow. Yup.

Good morning, folks.

I was in the middle of posting my nightly post last night, but then I fell asleep. I woke up and found it on my phone. I thought that was funny.

I’m eating mini Hershey’s milk chocolate bars with peanuts.  :D

I think I’m going to Barnes and Noble today. I like that store very much. I seldom post anything in the day. Yeah.

Good day to you sir/madam.

So yeah, I did most of my hw tonight. Yay. Hopefully I can start focusing more and stuff.

Like I said, today was pretty good. Hopefully tomorrow won’t suck. I’m exhausted, I fell asleep while playing a video game. Tap Tap Revenge.

Good Night.

Today is pretty ok. I totally fucked up on the 2 tests I took today :(

I shall continue this later

that you’re too stupid for this school. I have a feeling I’m gonna be getting a few of those next year. I’m fucking up this year so much, I hate it. I hate the Internet. But I love it so much. I know you know what I mean.

Hmm, today? Well, it was pretty okay. That contact. It was pretty nice. I wish I could focus more, it would help a lot. But yeah, made me happy for a while. I don’t know where it’s going. Is it even going anywhere? I get it, I’m the bud. That’s okay. Or maybe not. Oh well. I wanted ice cream today, the weather was perfect. Too bad I’m broke. Ladies and Gentlemen, it must be PMS.

I’ve been running on about 2 hours of sleep today. Cramming is pointless. I want to finish all of my missing assignments. I’m not sure if it’s that easy.

Joi, read the darn Harry Potter books. Or tell your brother too. I need someone to obsess over things with!

Good Night.

There is so much to read and write in the next 2 months. I have to read Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde for my Short Form, find an adequate poem for my Long Form, do the 12+ pages for my damn Long Form, do my APUSH Cornell Notes every week, do the homework for all my other classes and bring up my grades so that I’m not fucked in the future, do 20 hours of church service for Confirmation, memorize my prayers, and take a shower every day. And sleep.

Sleep and showers take up a lot of my time. I wish I were like a cat and I could groom myself so I don’t waste 5 minutes in the shower and 20+ minutes trying to look decent. And sleep. Why do I have to sleep so long? I wish I were a machine, or a robot. I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. I’m going insane. I used to like school. School is no longer enjoyable when you’re graced with C’s and D’s after being used to having B’s and A’s. (I had more B’s than A’s…)

I am so ready for next week it’s not even funny.

Good morning, my friend.

The orthodontist did things to my teeth. I don’t know why they do the things they do, but oh well. The metal’s in my mouth and that’s that.

Today was pretty mediocre. I realized I’m screwed.

I don’t know with you. I’ll just let it go. Yeah. And also, I wish I were a sailor sometimes. Because I wouldn’t have to worry about school, or people, or anything, really. Just my boat and my fish and my nets and my beard. If I had one. I probably would. mmhmm

Bon nuit, mon amie.

but I’m not going to, I’m ready to “hit the hay”. This weekend was pretty okay. An intervention.

I got some things accomplished. I have a lot of work to do for the remainder of this semester. I’m either going to make it or break it. As of right now, I’m breaking it.  :(

Going to the orthodontist tomorrow. I hope they don’t change my wire D:

We’ll see how things go.

Good morning, guppies.

If you’ve read all the Harry Potter books, you’re a wizard/witch. If you’ve only watched the movies, you’re a squib. If you dislike Harry Potter, Fenrir Greyback is going to bite your ear off you’re a damn Muggle.

Third Friday the 13th of the year. Cool.

Tonight was pretty okay. Hung out with some people. Then some other people. Repeat.  Then someone and his people, kinda. Then I consumed a warm mass of starch and butter. Baked. Then back to the first people. A few awkward moments tonight, but that’s normal.

We were victorious once again.

Free lollipops are good and “Gorilla Tape” is useless on paper when moist. Just thought I’d let you know.

Night Owls, good night.

I hate it. But then it gets okay once it’s understood.

Been getting a bit personal lately. No.

Had a frozen treat today. I’m liking the weather lately. Gray. Pleasant. Cloudy. Nice.

Going to a local sporting event. On Friday the 13th. I am a wanderer. I will most likely abandon you, no hard feelings.

Good morning Night Owls.